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- What If You've Been Asking The Wrong Questions?
The doorway to... What if we aren't asking ourselves the right questions and, as a result, we aren't getting the right answers? Have you ever thought about that? If we come at them from a different angle and change the way we ask our questions, it can also change the answers that we get. I repeat - the questions we ask can determine the answers we get. Our mind wants to keep us safe and keep us alive. But it can also interfere with any personal change or improvement. Our minds will turn every perceived danger; Every potential risk; Every probable threat; Every presumed obstacle; Every possible unpleasant or unfavorable situation; Every single uncertainty; Into something negative if we aren't thoughtful with our thoughts. What makes it even more difficult is when we're afraid to try or to think anything that diverges from what we are familiar and comfortable with, Either because we don't think we can; We don't know we can; We don't know how; Or because we believe that the way we think is the way we're supposed to think. So we become set on not changing our thought processes. And we keep asking the same old questions and getting the same old answers. We can't achieve anything different unless we think different thoughts. And it's really hard to think different thoughts without asking different questions. This brings me to the What If questions that we ask ourselves, which I first touched on here . Our What If questions can confine us and even stop us in our tracks, keeping us preoccupied with worries, fears, and self-doubt, or our What If questions can keep us curious and steer us toward exploring what's possible. What if it doesn't work out? What if something goes wrong? What if I can't do my best? What if I can't handle it? What if it hurts? What if they don't like me? What if I make a mistake? What if I don't succeed? What if I can't do it? These, and questions similar to these, are our default What If questions. All What If questions are hypothetical questions with hypothetical answers, but these What If questions are rooted in skepticism, as we try to foresee any and every possible adverse scenario that could play out. These questions - which are the types of questions that we often ask ourselves - tend to have a lot of negativity or doubt attached to them. Sometimes our What If questions may be outright pointless. All of this only continues to feed and nourish our stress, our fears, our self doubt, and our anxiety. So what if your "what if" questions aren't helping you? What if you've been asking the wrong questions and, as a result, giving yourself the wrong answers? What if you stopped trying to have an answer for everything and just tried to ask different questions instead? What if you confronted the hard questions rather than trying to avoid them or sweep them under the rug? What if you solved your issues, not by the acquiring of new information, but by rearranging the information you already have? What if you focused on curiosity and potential rather than fear or "knowing"? What if you thought in terms of possibilities rather than limitations? What if your past experiences are affecting you more than the current situation? What if there are things holding you back that you consider to be "good" things, and therefore never even regard them as a possible hindrance to getting where you want/need to go? What if you stopped viewing something as a threat or an obstacle and, instead, saw it as an opportunity? What if your current hopes and expectations are based on avoiding your fears? What if fear is just a reaction to not knowing? And what if the way to manage fear is to gradually broaden your comfort zone? What if the uncertainty that you are trying to avoid is where your answers are? What if you eliminated phrases like "I can't", and "I could never do that", from your speech? What if you stopped telling yourself that you can't do something, and started telling yourself that you can do it? It may not be today or tomorrow or even next week, but as long as you tell yourself that you can't, well…you can't. Most likely you won't even try, and you will have defeated yourself before you even begin. At least give yourself a chance! What if you actually tried to do the things that you don't think you can do? What if you don't give up the next time it gets hard and, instead, you keep on going? What if those things that "feel right" really just feel familiar? What if what you do now affects how you see what happens next? What if you didn't settle? What if stress is just pressure that you don't want to deal with? What if you ran towards difficulty instead of running away from it? What if you worked on your limitations instead of working around them? What if avoiding discomfort is actually burying your potential? What if taking on a challenge is just a different way of experiencing yourself? What if you did something out of the ordinary - something outside of your comfort zone - and achieved a dream you didn't even know you had? What if this turns out to be the best thing that ever happened to you? What if you could let go of all the inhibitions and excuses that keep you from doing something? What if you didn't perceive everything that wasn't consistent with your beliefs as wrong? What if you stopped dismissing things just because they didn't make sense to you? What if all of your beliefs, from the most trivial to the most unshakeable, were simply filters through which you viewed the world and yourself? What if you were inspired by your thoughts and not limited by them? What if you've got it all wrong? What if Life is just trying to take you in another direction? What if the clues have been right in front of you the whole time and you just weren't aware of them? What if you already have the answers, but you just need to rearrange your existing knowledge and reconnect the dots in a different way? What if you can do more and go further? What if you didn't think about what might, what could, or what should, and put everything into the moment that you have right now? What if you bet on yourself? What if you dug deeper and pulled everything out of yourself that you could? What if, in order to change the world, you have to dig deep and change yourself? What if, in the process, you redefined what was humanly possible? What if you talked to yourself about yourself in a more positive and more confident way? What if changing your life was as easy as changing the questions you ask yourself? See, different questions can lead to different answers; And different answers can unlock new possibilities. We can't have all the answers if we've never asked all the questions. And if we keep asking the same old questions we'll keep getting the same tired answers. What if we stopped questioning everyone else and we spent that time questioning ourselves? What if we analyzed ourselves with the same conviction and intensity that we analyzed everything else with? What if the answers to all of these questions came from the internal conversations that we don't want to have? Then again, maybe we don't want to know the answers to these kinds of questions because then we'd be responsible for ourselves. After all, the less we know, the less accountability we have. Right? Maybe it's not about finding the right answers, maybe it's about asking the right questions. Instead of trying to find answers to the questions you ask, find different questions to ask and watch what happens, because Life can get really interesting when the right questions are asked. But we seem to value answers more than the questions, themselves, and so we usually end up reasoning ourselves into a corner because we only ask questions until we get the answers that we want. And if we're only looking for specific answers - answers that confirm our personal inclinations - then those are the only answers we will accept. And the illusion will continue. What if it's not about finding the right answers, but about asking the right questions? What if we have been asking the wrong "what if " questions all along? You may think that you've been questioning Life this whole time, But what if Life has been questioning you? Pic by - Grant Krasner
- Rebels With A Cause: A Road to Nowhere?
Pic of author by Coffee And A Map I was looking back on my life And all the things I've done to me I'm still looking for the answers I'm still searching for the key Road to Nowhere, by Ozzy Osbourne The world of rock 'n roll music lost a true icon recently in Ozzy Osbourne. Ozzy was stigmatized and criticized by many people throughout his career, but he was there every step of the way for an entire generation. He was the first singer/songwriter - at least in the eyes of this writer - who gave a voice to the disenfranchised; The ones who felt like they didn't belong anywhere; The rebels. On July 22, 2025, Ozzy Osbourne passed away. Many grown men have shed tears and even cried over his loss in the time since that day. The outpouring of admiration, respect, and love that has been on display for the life that this man led, and the legacy that he left, says it all. The man was not perfect by any means. But I dare say, he helped more people get through their own personal hard times than any of us have. This article is not about Ozzy, the man. This article is about the spirit I believe he lived with. It's a spirit that lives within many of us, even though the outside world only sees us as strange or different. It's the true rebel spirit. We love rebels in the movies and in pop culture, don't we? Do you think it's because we know that they are the ones who will shake things up and change things? Do you think it's because we know that they are the ones who are going to make a difference? But in real life we don't always think that way. In real life a rebel is often seen only as someone who is disobedient and defiant to authority. An insubordinate. A troublemaker. It may appear to others like they think they're special, or they're obnoxious, or that rules just don't apply to them. But there is a type of rebel who is not defiant just for the sake of being defiant , nor are they disobedient just because they don't like the rules. They aren't rebelling against a particular organization or establishment. They aren't trying to fit in where they don't belong. And they don't intend to be malicious or cause harm. This type of rebel observes and listens and considers everything, and then tries to find a different way. They do it on their own, without seeking consent, because they know they won't get it. They aren't this way for the sole purpose of being different, or difficult, or drawing attention to themselves, even though they might appear to be a bit pompous. They are genuinely just curious and exploratory . They also don't mind being perceived as a fool sometimes because if you are concerned with being perceived as a fool, you won't do anything unusual, out of the box, or different. Allowing yourself to look foolish is to let go of the restrictions and the limitations that inhibit change and growth. Their swagger comes from self confidence. Their rebellion is against thinking the same thoughts continuously, and doing the same things over and over. It's a rebellion against always doing things the easiest way possible. It's a rebellion against the standard concepts of how things are and how they should be done. It's a rebellion against asking the same questions and getting the same tired answers. It's also a rebellion against fear and anxiety. How? Because this kind of rebel is always challenging everything they think they know and understand - the very things that cause fear and anxiety in others. Sometimes they begin to seem rebellious starting at an earlier age, when what is really happening is that they are seeing that things aren't adding up and things aren't fitting together as they were told. They recognize that something is wrong. They are putting the pieces together and those pieces aren't making sense. They just don't know what to do with those pieces because they don't have the words for it or the understanding of it. Their rebellion is an outward reaction to an inner action. A rebel is someone who resists cultural or societal restrictions. They question the standard concepts and beliefs of how things are and how they should be done. They may have an insatiable curiosity which can lead them to discover deeper truthfulness, regardless of what they've been told. A rebellious person is intimately familiar with vulnerability because they are, by nature, vulnerable. See, you can't be rebellious without also being vulnerable because when you are being rebellious you are putting yourself out there and inviting judgement and criticism and opening yourself up to all kinds of scrutiny. You are going to make mistakes and you are going to be misunderstood. But this type of rebel has little to no interest in the status quo. Their rebellion is against that very status quo - against accepted standards and living on autopilot. They do things differently and, as a result, they see things differently. They are the ones who do the unexpected and the irregular. They are the ones who have broken free of "conventional" knowledge, exposed the old rules, and even rewritten them. People may think that this type of rebel is just being defiant and is in opposition to them. Truth is, this type of rebel is in opposition to themselves, as well. They don't take the narrative of the day as fact. They are constantly testing and experimenting with everything, as they seek different possibilities and different answers. Yes, they are non conforming. But they are non conforming to everything , including their own beliefs. They know about dogma and they have seen the effects. This type of rebel is driven by curiosity. This rebel is always experimenting with and testing limits and boundaries. As a result, they will occasionally exceed those limits and cross those boundaries. This can make it appear as if they are careless, reckless, impulsive, or like they just don't care. That would be our misinterpretation and our mistake. It is that very curiosity and willingness to explore or to challenge boundaries that puts this rebel in a position to do something, or to discover something, that no one else has considered, or that everyone else thought was impossible. To this rebel nothing and no one, including themselves, is beyond scrutiny - beyond examination and reinterpretation. So don't take it personally. To this type of rebel the enemy is themselves. And their weapon is their own mind. Sometimes it's the people who others can't imagine doing anything, that do what others can't imagine. The rebels with a cause are often viewed as outsiders. They may be misunderstood, but they are the ones who never stop looking for answers. They are putting the pieces back together in new and different ways. They are the ones who change things. This is what can make them revolutionary. The road that we think leads to nowhere - Leads us right back to ourselves. Join the rebellion! Photo - Coffee And A Map
- A Theory Concerning Experts
Photo by author Expert = Having, involving, or displaying special skill or knowledge derived from training or experience. (Merriam-Webster) An expert is usually someone who is seen as an authority, such as a tutor, a doctor, a teacher, a master, a sage, an instructor, a guru, a coach, or a trainer. For this article I am not referring to "experts" such as the ones who can tell you all about the Scottish Wars of Independence or the ones who can explain the Bear and Bull markets. I am talking about the ones that we look to for guidance or advice concerning our physical, mental, or spiritual condition. The everyday issues of life that we all face. Betty's Journey I would personally consider my significant other, Betty, an expert although she is not technically classified by any of the titles mentioned above, nor does she desire to be. But by definition she has a "particular knowledge derived from experience". It was a 6 year journey for her, but in that time Betty lost over 140 pounds and has kept it off for an additional 6 years and counting! I'd say that pretty much makes her a weight loss expert. There were days, or even weeks, in which she didn't stick to her eating or workout objectives for one reason or another. She never beat herself up over it, instead she would just refocus her mind and get right back into doing what she wanted to do - what she felt she needed to do. She experimented with various diets and exercise regimens to lose her weight and get to where she wanted to be. Sometimes she began eating a particular way and it would have amazing results - for a while. When her eating ways stopped producing changes she would then have to shift or change her way of eating to get continued results. It was the same process with workout routines. There was a whole lot of trial and error and there was not one thing that seemed to work for her entire journey. There were always changes and adjustments that were needed to be made as her body adapted to what she was doing. But every step of the way it was all done by diet and exercise alone. When people would find out about her weight loss journey, many of them would have questions regarding how she did it. Usually they would tell her that they have tried or considered losing weight themselves. I would notice that when she would tell them how she achieved her dramatic weight loss she would get a disheartened "oh", as a response. This response was almost always coupled with something along the lines of, "I could never give up my (insert favorite foods here)." I would see this pattern of conversation play out time and time and time again. It was astonishing to me, to witness so many people get first-hand knowledge from someone who has achieved something above and beyond what they were wanting to accomplish, and suddenly disregard it all when they hear about the work and the sacrifices that it takes to get there. It got me thinking - There is no one singular way to do something and there isn't just one reason why we do anything that we do. There is a number of reasons, I'm sure, why we don't listen to the experts who are in our lives, those who we are familiar with. This is just a theory that I have surmised on ONE of those reasons: Looking for Something Many people are looking for something. Something different. A change . They're looking for better health, a certain spirituality, or that seemingly elusive peace and happiness. Many of these same people have someone in their life who has what they are looking for. That person is rarely asked how they got to where they are, how it is that they accomplished what they did. If and when they are, their ways are always dismissed as taking too long or being too hard or we come up with some other reason to not have to listen to them or accept their advice - their knowledge gained from experience. Why? It's not what we WANT to hear. We spend so much time and energy hoping to find some magical quick-fix for what troubles or ails us. Not finding it may create confusion because we want to believe that there's a certain way to get something, which requires not having to put in a whole lot of work. We don't want to listen to the ones who have actually felt and experienced and understand the struggle. Instead, we'd rather turn to books or to the electronic gurus, the ones on the TV or the internet. They will tell us how we can achieve the results that we desire in the quickest and easiest way possible. How strange; we'll listen to the experts who are trying to sell us something, but we won't listen to those who are closest to us who have no intention other than to see us improve our well-being. Nevertheless, we want our Top 5 lists. We want everything summarized and wrapped up nice and neat in an easy-to-follow, step-by-step plan. We want change but we want convenience…we just want it all on our own terms. When we look to someone who is not an immediate part of our lives for those answers then it becomes easy to dismiss them. If we don't agree with them or we don't believe them then we can simply turn the channel or turn them off or keep scrolling. We can ignore it and it goes away. We can go back to our comfortable and cozy world and doing things the way we WANT to do them. But if we look to those in our lives that have been there and have the experience for our answers, we have to face ourselves and the cold, hard truth that we may be wrong or that there is no easy way. That can be painful and uncomfortable. It's much easier to listen to someone we don't know. Someone that we can easily ignore or turn off when they say those things - the things we don't want to hear. Experts In truth, an expert on the everyday issues of life doesn't give us something that we didn't already have, they just guide the way. They help us to see what has been there, within us, all along. They have a personal knowledge, gained from experience. Everyone wants answers and as long as we get answers that we like, we’ll keep listening. As soon as we start getting answers we don’t like or we don’t want to hear, we stop listening. We don't listen because we have fixed ideas and beliefs. We don't really want the truth, we want our traditions and beliefs to remain intact. We can agree or disagree with others about what they know or don't know...or we can emulate those who we know that have what we are seeking. And nobody is coming to tell us to turn off our devices and get off the couch and move. Nobody is coming to write out our life plans for us. Nobody is coming to give us permission to pursue our dreams. Nobody is coming to give us some magical answers to make life easier. Nobody. No one can. A real expert has already done the work. They know how hard and difficult the path is. They know of the sacrifices required to stay on the path. They have already experienced it. That experience gives a completely different insight than watching or reading about it. The real issue is not in what others can offer us. The real issue is not what others have that we don't. The real issue is in understanding ourselves, experimenting, and discovering what works for us. No one ever said it would be easy - except maybe the "experts" who are trying to sell you something. There is no magic answer or magic pill. Your spirit, your mind, your body, and what you do with them - that is the magic. "Doctors won't make you healthy. Nutritionists won't make you slim. Teachers won't make you smart. Gurus won't make you calm. Mentors won't make you rich. Trainers won't make you fit. Ultimately, you have to take responsibility. Save yourself." - Naval Ravikant Photo by Grant Krasner Crater Lake NP
- Inside the Mind of an Algorithm
Photo by author Did the algorithm bring you here? There seems to be some confusion - and in some cases a complete misunderstanding - with many people as to what an algorithm actually is and what it does. An algorithm is, quite simply, a mathematical set of steps or instructions that are used to complete a certain task. Everything that a computer does is guided by algorithms. An app is a group of algorithms working together to help us do something. The entire internet runs on algorithms. If you use Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, TikTok, Snapchat, a dating app, or any social media then you can notice the algorithms at work. If you watch a video on YouTube you will suddenly notice similar videos being recommended to you. It's because of the algorithm. If you use Instagram or TikTok, or whatever social media app you desire, and you notice that certain friends suddenly show up in your feed while others disappear, that's the algorithms at work. Algorithms are used to rotate those friends in and out of your feed in a certain way so your feed isn't overwhelmed with every single new post from all of them. Since many people have hundreds, if not thousands of friends or people they follow, it would probably be overwhelming to try to keep up with so many people all at once, wouldn't it? Texting? There is an algorithm that is used when you text. It learns how you talk and what words you use the most. That's why when you try to use a word you haven't used before, or very rarely use, it tries to replace that word with a similar word that you use more often. Dating apps use algorithms in an attempt to recommend a match that may be of interest to you. Your email uses algorithms so the mail knows where to go and what file to go in. GPS uses algorithms to get you from one place to the next. Your spreadsheet works by using algorithms. Cash registers use algorithms. The apps on your phone are nothing but algorithms. Oh, and all of those pesky adds that keep appearing in your social media feeds? Those are specifically aimed at you based on your search history and/or interests. Once again - the algorithms at work. Our online searches use algorithms, too. Search algorithms show us content that we're most likely to look at based on our previous search history. If you like sports, you're going to see more sports in your feed. Whatever way you lean politically or spiritually in your searches is what you're going to see more of. Rights activist groups, crime stories, sports, politics, religion, science, psychology - it doesn't matter - when you click on something, you are suddenly going to see more of the same or similar things. If it's digital, it's using an algorithm. There is a reason why you see what you see in your feeds, and it's not because that's how the rest of the world looks at things. The algorithm feeds you what it thinks you are interested in based on what you normally look at. It gives you your very own personalized timeline, also altering how you see the world. The algorithm is also designed to keep you on a particular platform. It's created a mathematical rabbit hole of your passions and desires. It sucks you in emotionally. It makes you feel seen. It is a creator of filter bubbles. There are social media algorithms that are designed to promote division because that's what drives engagement, and engagement makes money. Slowly but surely your feed becomes filled with content that you like, what you're interested in, and what you agree with. You begin to view the same things as like-minded people tend to do. This monotone repetition creates an illusion that everyone thinks the same as you do, and if they don't, well...they must be looking in the wrong places. Once your feed is filled with things that you agree with, and your online friends - at least those who you regularly interact with - are those who think just like you, it frankly becomes much easier to be manipulated. At this point you will have, in effect, locked yourself into an echo chamber. Inside these echo chambers people have one-sided conversations and agree with each other without any push back from opposing points of view. Conversations with anyone who has differing points of view are avoided, and this only strengthens the beliefs in our societies of mutual appreciation. Friendships and families have been torn apart by these filter bubbles and echo chambers. Relationships have been lost because one person doesn't believe the same thing or the same way as the other person. It's a feedback loop that is emotionally manipulating you. It's designed to keep you coming back for more because… It's for profit! And profit always comes at the expense of someone else. The internet. It collects data, then recognizes patterns, which is how it seems to predict your choices. Then it re-configures the data in ways designed to try and keep you engaged. It's just doing what it's programmed to do, and it seems to be working quite well! The internet is where you can create your own customized world of information or - if you're not careful - one is created for you. But it's just using the data that you gave it; the information that you willingly put into the system. We let the algorithm dictate what we look at but we fail to see that all it's doing is holding a mirror up to our beliefs, biases, and habits. But in doing so, it also keeps the unknown and the different hidden from us. We seem to have confused information with knowledge. Eye-catching content is all that matters anymore. One reason for people's disgust and anger these days is because they have tied their emotional well-being to many things on the internet, and many things on the internet are either all-out fake or designed simply to keep us coming back, with little to no regard for our personal welfare. The algorithm. It excites some, and terrifies others. There are those who think it has the ability to know our deepest desires and beliefs, and maybe even that it can make things happen. But only because we give it that power. And, as with everything else, the more we interact with something, the more we bond with it. We will gradually form a relationship with it. The algorithm began as a way to keep our interests - what it calculated as relevant to us - in our feed. But in many cases it became a condition in which we existed. The internet was supposed to be a tool to empower humanity. We can learn anything on the internet, but we generally use it to validate what we already believe as we revel in our own self importance and indulge our simpleness. This is made evident by the number of times that people will not believe, or argue with, an expert, but they will side with a random person on the internet just because they have the same opinions or outlook. The ability to get quick and easy answers that also support our personal beliefs led to the need for quick and easy answers that support our beliefs. Having our own thoughts on a topic gave way to just repeating what everyone else in our sphere of influence says, invoked by the algorithm. But one thing an algorithm can't do is teach us to ask better questions, and to be okay with doubt, uncertainty, and the unknown. I guess we could blame the internet, itself, for these problems, but as I've written about it before right here ; the world wide web is just pointing its finger right back at us. We're just too wrapped up in our need to be right, our own anger and self-righteousness, to see it. We are turning ourselves into a self-appointed judge, jury, and executioner, while only having bits and pieces of information. In this world there is no room for tolerance, questions, or a healthy discussion of issues. Instead, we become paranoid, angered, or simply unmoved by anything and everything that contradicts what we see and hear in our self-created online worlds. There once was a time when we were friends with people who had opposing views. This promoted thinking and, in general, different views and perspectives on life. Now there are many who only associate with those who share their same views and beliefs. This doesn't promote seeing things from different perspectives, let alone thinking or questioning. But it does promote indoctrination. The algorithm. A mysterious technology? An advanced scientific calculation? A closely guarded secret? No. It's only a mathematical equation. And we keep buying into it and allowing it to influence our choices, our beliefs, and even our entire lives. We can't change our social media algorithms that rotate our friends, or who we follow, in and out of our feeds. But we can absolutely change our search algorithms. Remember the example of YouTube videos that I mentioned above. When you search a different genre of music, you will suddenly see many other options from that same genre. When you search a How-To video, you will suddenly see many similar videos recommended to you. As for your search browser, it isn't much different. To alter the algorithm, all we need to do is look up different things. We can even change the way we enter our search. Use different word combinations, add or delete one word in our search, and we'll get different results. The digital world and the analog world operate the same way. If we want different results we have to change the information that we put into the system. Entering the same information all the time can lead us to believe that this is how it's supposed to be, or this is just how it is. But if you change what you put into it, you'll change the results that you get out of it. The internet is a tool. As with any tool, how we use it determines what we get out of it. We can use this tool to confirm our reasoning, or to expose the holes in our reasoning. And either way we use it will give us the results we are looking for. If we don't understand our own minds, algorithms will make our minds up for us. We just have to be smarter than the technology we're using. As the saying goes; it's easier to convince people of a lie than to convince them they've been deceived. Almost every time we click on something, someone is making money. But all that matters - all they are concerned with - is that we keep on "clicking". What if algorithms are just exploiting our personal vulnerabilities? Photo by Grant Krasner
- Counterclockwise: A Thought Experiment
Photo of author by Coffee And A Map Ellen Langer, a Harvard psychology professor, conducted an experiment in 1979 called the 'Counterclockwise' experiment. For this experiment she got 8 male volunteers who were in their 70's and took them to a converted monastery in New Hampshire. Everything in the old monastery was recreated to look like it was 1959 - twenty years prior. The pictures on the walls, the books, the music; everything was set up to look and sound just as it would have in 1959. There were no mirrors so the participants couldn't look at themselves. They did not have modern day clothing, or current individual photos, and nobody assisted them physically in any way. They were told to discuss historical events of that time as if they were current events. They were instructed to talk and act as if it was 1959 - not only to recall what it was like, but to live as if they were there again. Another group of men of similar age lived in a comparable environment, but they weren't instructed to talk and act as if it was 1959. They could reminisce about the era, but they did not act as if it was twenty years prior - as if they were back in 1959. Both groups lived this way for five days. All of the subjects from both groups were tested and measured in various health and performance metrics before the experiment began. At the conclusion of the experiment all subjects were tested on those metrics again, and showed evident improvement in virtually every category - including vision, hearing, memory, joint flexibility, posture, and arthritic symptoms. Over half of the subjects in the first group - the group that acted as if they were back in 1959 - also tested at higher IQ scores after the conclusion of the experiment. You can read more about the Counterclockwise experiment here . While this test may have been debated and scrutinized since then, I do not think it would be a good idea to ignore the results. I have encountered numerous people over the course of time who do not believe that the thoughts we think have much, if any, influence on what our bodies do - on how they function. Personally, I am always challenging and testing this belief on myself , and I can assure you that what we think and how we think affects our bodies and even our entire life. You can read about one of my self-experiments here . We don't need to look any further than the music we listen to, to see that our thoughts affect our bodies. We all have a song, if not several, from our past which we listen to that can instantly transport us back to a specific time or location. The ensuing memories give us the feelings we had when we were initially there. This is our thoughts affecting our bodies. What happens in our mind is unquestionably reflected in our body. Thinking is a physical process that can be mapped and measured. I present to you the functional magnetic resonance imaging scanner. An fMRI scanner measures changes in blood flow - actual physiological changes in our body - that occur from our brain's activity, aka our thoughts. Still not convinced? Let's do a little thought experiment on ourselves: Have you ever read or heard an opinion - social, political, religious, scientific, legal, or otherwise - that you vehemently disagreed with? What happened in your body, physically, when that occurred? Did your muscles tense? Jaw clench? Brow furrow? Did you become visibly agitated? See? Simply reading or hearing something can create a biological response in the body. Some of us may have to go back in our memories much farther than others for this next one, but we've probably all had a first date with someone at some point in our lives. Do you remember being nervous before a first date? Why? Surely it wasn't due to the thoughts you were thinking. Need more evidence? Take a couple of minutes and ruminate on the following examples, one by one; Think of that one person that really gets under your skin and drives you crazy by just being in their presence. Imagine that they are next to you right now. Reflect on a moment from your past that may have filled you with fear before you did it. For example; having to speak in public. Think of that moment, such as a child's graduation or that time you did something that you didn't think you could possibly do, that filled you with joy or pride. Now recall one of the most incredible, amazing, or exciting things that has ever happened to you. Think hard. I'll wait... Did you feel it? That was your thoughts affecting your body. Every emotion we have creates a physical sensation in our body. And our emotions are driven by the thoughts we think. Stress, fear, anger, excitement, joy; they all stem from the thoughts we think and those thoughts produce a chemical reaction in our body. When we believe that something will affect us in a particular way, it usually does. Placebo effect, anyone? Phantom pain? Psychosomatic illness? Many people can't distinguish between the thoughts that randomly run through their minds and what they are really thinking, because they don’t give any thought to what they're thinking. And before we can change our thoughts, we first need to notice that we're thinking. There are elements of reality that we tend to not consider, or overlook altogether, just because we can't see them. Our thoughts are one of those elements. But our thoughts are as real as anything else. They very much influence our physical reality; The things we do, the things we feel, and our perception of the world. What we think does not miraculously change things outside of us. But what we think and how we think can absolutely impact what happens inside of us. If we don't regulate our thoughts, our body will eventually adapt to the new "normal" conditions that our thoughts have created. Changes in our minds - in our thoughts - are reflected by changes in our body, and vice versa. If you've tried everything you could possibly think of to change something in your life and none of it works, it's most likely because you haven't changed the way you thought about it. Sure, we can be overloaded with random thoughts. That's normal. But we choose which thoughts to obsess over, or give our attention to. Whatever we don't work on, train, or practice, becomes our normal. And we have probably neglected our thoughts for far too long. Our own thoughts are more influential than we think. Our own thoughts are more powerful than we know. If you think that the way you think is set in stone; If you think that what you think or how you think doesn't matter; If you think that you can't change the way you think; You may want to think again. Photo - Coffee And A Map Looking into the fog
- The Stories We Tell
Photo by author If I told you a story would you believe it? Almost four years ago I intentionally upended my life and altered the course of my entire existence. I consciously and deliberately changed the narrative. I changed my story. What one person may see as a crisis, another may see as a window of opportunity. What may be a problem to this person may only be a challenge to that person. Someone may see despair where another sees hope. Where one sees fear another sees comfort. One person will see struggle and another will see a chance for growth. And on and on it goes. Our narrative of life comes from how we internally translate everything that we see and hear. It comes from the stories that we tell ourselves. What separates our species from all other species is the stories that we tell. We like to think that we operate on logic and facts but…yeah, not so much. We are walking, breathing, stories and projections that function on emotions. We make decisions emotionally and then our rational mind tries to justify the decisions with what we believe to be facts. We project our past experiences, our own inner thoughts, perceptions, and expectations onto everything. It becomes our story and the stories that we tell ourselves become our beliefs, which is how we make sense of the world, how we make sense of life and death. And a well told story is much more influential on our beliefs than logic or facts. We've all had stories told to us that were true, yet we chose not to believe. We've all had stories told to us that were not true and yet we believed them. Just because we believe something does not make it true and just because we don't believe something does not make it untrue. As a result of the stories that we tell ourselves we may see patterns where there is really chaos. We may see meaning where there is really randomness. We may see narratives where there are none. We see things in a way that fits into our story. How do the stories you tell yourself present themselves in the world around you? We can spend an entire life believing a story about ourselves. One that we didn't write, and one that was told to us that we simply accepted without challenging or questioning it. But it's never too late to change our story. I don't write to try to please anybody's sensibilities. I write my stories to share my thoughts and feelings and experiences. I write my stories to try to encourage inspiration or motivation, to hopefully provoke thought. I write my stories to help me process and understand this new life that I now live. I write, and will continue to write, because I changed my story and I have a new story to tell. Pic by Grant Krasner
- A Grand Experiment
Photo by author What happens when what we see, read, or hear doesn’t match up with what we know? What happens when our sense of reality is challenged? It's A Dead End Trail - Or is It? Imagine, if you will… You discover previously unknown or unconsidered evidence about something. You’re trying to follow the trail that's been revealed by this evidence, but somewhere along the way things happened that you don't understand, things that don't make sense. You consider yourself to be open-minded, inquisitive, maybe even philosophical, so you pursue this new evidence to see where it goes. But in following the evidence, it begins to make you uncomfortable as it seems to get further and further from your expectations of reality and eventually brings you to what you consider to be an impossible belief. This just can’t be, there must be another explanation for this. You can’t justify it anymore. No matter how hard you look, you can’t find a suitable answer that aligns with what you know about reality. To believe this new evidence would go against the convictions that you already hold. It would go against everything you’ve been taught. This causes you to stop your pursuit because you don’t think that you can change your beliefs or your world view. So what do you do? The Element of Uncertainty At this point of the investigation many people will usually do one of three things, or even some combination of them. They may draw a conclusion based solely on a gut feeling, they may double-down on already existing beliefs, or they may shift the burden of proof off of themselves and onto someone else. None of these actions get us closer to the truth, they only protect the beliefs that we have already put in place. Imagine if Isaac Newton, Marie Curie, Albert Einstein, or any number of other scientists took one of these routes. Many of us have difficulty accepting flaws in our existing belief system and trust me, they are there. Acknowledging a flaw creates uncertainty and we don’t like uncertainty because it makes us uncomfortable . But the thing is, when we are certain of something then we stop looking for answers. Uncertainty can move us to investigate the unknown and the unexpected, it can also leave us overwhelmed with doubt. We all know less than we think we know and I’m pretty sure that on some level we are aware of that. So, what if we approached our lives like a scientist would approach their research, not in the analytical sense, but in the experimental sense? Be Like a Scientist A scientist shouldn't concentrate on what they know, but on what they don't know. After many experiments and observations they come up with theories. The scientist then tries to prove the theory wrong. More experiments and more observations are used to further test those theories. Their quest for answers, for truth, never ends but they are always gaining more knowledge. A scientist should ask questions. Many questions. Questions that help them adopt changes. Questions that examine alternative possibilities. Questions that lead to developing new ideas. Questions that are asked in such a way, not to prove their theories but to disprove them. A scientist should use any and all means necessary to try to understand deeper, to gain more and more insight. A scientist should devise and conduct tests to challenge their "facts", not to confirm them. Their search for understanding doesn't end when they feel that they have all of the facts. No, that's where the search really begins. Can it honestly be called research if a scientist only looks for things to confirm their already existing beliefs? If their research doesn't cause them to question their own "facts" or bring them to a place where they begin to question what they think they know…is it really research? Abridgment (Stay Curious!) Insert your own name in place of the word "scientist" in the paragraphs above. Be like a scientist with your life. Seek. Seek to discover, but don’t attach yourself to the results that you find. Ask questions, don't make statements because it's not about finding the right answers so much, it's about asking the right questions. Question and challenge your own ideas and understanding. Explore and experiment with unknowns. Change the variables of the world that you interact with. Be more committed to your curiosity than to your convictions. Curiosity is, after all, the driving force behind science, and the great ones were relentlessly curious. Live life like it's one big, grand, experiment. Stay curious and be like a scientist and you may be surprised at what you discover. While following a trail of evidence there may be, at some point, a bridge. A bridge between the possible and the impossible, between analytical and experience, between acceptance and denial, between certainty and uncertainty, between what we think we know and everything else. Cross that bridge. To discover is not to believe in something, to discover is to be willing to let go of what we do believe. "The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny …'" - Isaac Asimov Pic by Coffee And A Map Kansas sunrise
- You're Not the Boss of Me!
Photo of author, by Betty Shivers Freedom = 1)The state of not being a slave, prisoner, etc. 2)The state of not having or being affected by something unpleasant, painful, or unwanted (Merriam Webster) The freedom that most people talk about is the physical concept that goes something like, "I should be able to do or say whatever I want, whenever I want". That sounds more like anarchy, if you ask me. But we can be restricted by a prison of our own making and live an entire life that way without even knowing it. We can create our own walls between captivity and freedom. Being free is just as much a mental concept as it is a physical one. The mental aspect of being free is when our own thoughts, ideals and beliefs don't chain us down any more. We all have our physical and mental limits - I know. But if we just accept our current physical or mental states, if we never challenge our own thoughts or our own abilities , how do we know if we are really free? We want to be certain of things because it gives us a sense of comfort and security. Being certain also causes us to stop looking for answers, and it would have us cling to certain familiar ways of thinking that don't serve us anymore. That is not freedom, that stifles freedom. We're always a prisoner to SOMETHING, but… If fear keeps us from doing something that we are capable of doing and have a desire to do then that fear has control of us. Is that freedom? If our mood is based on a situation or what other people say or do, then that controls our emotions and we don't control them ourselves. That's not freedom. If our decisions are always based on what we have to lose, as opposed to what we have to gain, we will fear losing and we will cling to that which we don't want to lose. That's not freedom. If we never face our fears we will never know what we are capable of. Is that freedom? If we never question our own beliefs we will never know if they are really our own. Is that freedom? If we are imprisoned, enslaved, controlled, or limited by our own thoughts , is that really freedom? You get the picture. We are all prisoners and our comforts and our beliefs are the cage. The walls that we built to protect ourselves have become the same walls that now imprison us. We have become our own prisoner, caged in comfort, caged by our own thoughts and beliefs. How can we be free if we haven't removed the chains of which we are unaware? Freedom is when all possibilities are open. Freedom is to be at ease with uncertainty. Freedom is when we can find the mistakes in our own thinking. If we believe those negative voices in our head then we'll use anything and everything as evidence to prove them right. We'll end up clinging to the one thing that we believe proves that we are right, while ignoring the ten things that suggest otherwise. But freedom starts when we begin to question that voice in our head because only then can we begin to see our own blind spots. Real freedom starts when we begin to question OURSELVES, and that freedom can feel overwhelming when we are used to being imprisoned. The first step on the road to freedom is being aware. It can't be fixed or changed if we aren't aware of it. "In the truest sense, freedom can not be bestowed; it must be achieved." - Franklin D. Roosevelt Pic - Betty Shivers
- The Self-Care that Nobody Talks About
Photo by author This post was originally published on Elephant Journal , and also on Medium . They can be seen there via the links at the bottom. ********************************* We want answers, we want the truth...but only if it makes us feel good. It's been a very wet and chilly summer so far. I'm sitting in the lodge of a campground looking out the window at yet another damp and cool day. I haven't had the time to write anything in a while, but this seemed like a good time to get out of the elements for a bit and sit in a controlled environment to do just that. My girlfriend and I are spending the summer working at a campground above 9,000 feet in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado while living, along with our dog, in a small 3-person tent that we use when we all go backpacking. This is bear and mountain lion country, and showers are a commodity. The early morning temperatures in the summer up here are usually in the 40 degree fahrenheit range and it's not uncommon to drop down into the 30's. Only one night has been spent indoors in over a month. The way I look at it, though, is that all of this is self-care. I do not believe that self-care is only being kind or gentle with ourselves. Allow me to explain… Self-care is what we do to have and to maintain a healthy life physically, psychologically, emotionally, socially, and spiritually. There is also a multi-billion-dollar industry packaging and promoting products and practices to help us achieve optimal health. We have boxed and labeled and categorized self-care, as we tend to do with most things, thereby limiting how we view it and limiting its effect on us. When we throw our money at any merchandise, a pill, a smoothie, a feel-good plan, or an app, then we may have bought into the belief that we need something else, something outside of ourselves, for our health or happiness to be better - and business is booming! But I don't believe that self-care should come from a product so much, nor should it be a routine or our default way of dealing with the stresses of life. True self-care, as I see it, takes work and will frequently make us uncomfortable. If we look at it as a mindset rather than a practice or a routine then we may find our own self-care in absolutely everything we do. It may look different for everyone, but sometimes self-care is being more curious than convinced. Sometimes it's about challenging and pushing ourselves beyond what we're comfortable with . It's giving ourselves permission to be uncomfortable. It's making the inconvenient choices and asking the hard questions. It's looking at those things we don't want to do but doing it anyway. It's when we feel like quitting but we don't. It's about recognizing our own shortcomings and then doing something so we don't keep falling victim to them. It's listening to things we don't want to hear , like good arguments that make us uncomfortable. It's not ignoring the negative, but trying to understand it. Sometimes self-care is not about trying to reduce or control all of the variables but e xploring them and experimenting with them . It's confronting our fears, being scared, but still doing it . It's about doing something completely outside of our comfort zone. It's seeking out information that contradicts our beliefs. It's not about being hard on ourselves, it's about being honest with ourselves and not playing games with ourselves - those mind games that we don't even know that we're playing or that we simply refuse to acknowledge. Sometimes self-care is about standing in there and enduring the issue. It's not about trying to avoid the pain or discomfort but allowing ourselves to suffer through it to see what it has to teach us about ourselves rather than trying to change it or avoid it - so that we may come out stronger on the other side. If life was supposed to be easy and without challenges we would never grow. It's been almost four years since we sold our home and all of our belongings and began living life on the road. One thing that I have learned in that time - really learned - is that overcoming the difficulty of something is what makes it the most rewarding. We may say that we know this and yet difficulty is what we spend most of our time trying to avoid. To maximize our happiness or satisfaction, we need a good portion of the opposite. We can't build resilience by trying to feel good all of the time. It's built by facing hardships, pain, and disappointment. If we are always protecting ourselves from the hard things or the difficult things then how can we have an understanding of them or know what to do with them when they do come? But when we condition ourselves to do the difficult things, the difficult things become easier. Just as muscle is built by physical resistance, pressure, and adversity, so is our emotional and mental strength. The road to self-care is paved with sweat and tears and pain just as much as it's paved with relaxation and gentleness and kindness with ourselves. If we're always trying to feel safe, we don't have to go very far to feel unsafe. If we're always trying to be comfortable, it doesn't take as much to make us uncomfortable. Self-care is about developing the mental, physical and spiritual resources to get us through challenging and difficult times. It is not just about doing what we need to do to survive the day, it's also about building ourselves up to take on the day. When self-care is a mindset and not just a routine or a practice then every situation, every problem, everything becomes an opportunity to learn something, to better ourselves, to become stronger, and to grow. That, to me, is self-care. Yes, we all need a time and a place and a way to relax, regroup, recharge, and refocus our energies. By all means, we should take some time to be kind and gentle with ourselves and we all need some assistance every now and then. But self-care can easily become self-sabotage if we're not careful. Self-care is not the problem, but how we use it may be. This is the self-care that nobody talks about because this is the self-care that requires us to look at ourselves and be completely honest about the role we play in our own well being. We seem to want the results but without having to go through the process. We want answers, we want truth…but only if it makes us feel good . The hard truth is always a tough sell because it is not an appealing soundbite, and it doesn't sell a lot of products. It never did. My thoughts about self-care became published on Elephant Journal and Medium, which can be seen here - https://www.elephantjournal.com/2022/07/the-self-care-that-nobody-talks-about-grant-krasner/ https://medium.com/@coffeeandamap1/the-self-care-that-nobody-talks-about-10178552b402 Pic by Grant Krasner
- When An Adventure Becomes A Journey
I got lost, but that was the plan It's been more than six years since I changed virtually every single thing about my life. I sold my home and quit my job and I left everything I knew and was familiar with - everything I was comfortable with - and I threw myself out into the world to began this open-armed and open-ended adventure into the complete unknown. As time passed, this adventure became more of a journey for me. A journey is often considered to be something along the lines of a very long or a very arduous trip. But little did I know how much more things were going to change than I ever expected. All of the traveling and talking with a diversity of people; All of the various geography and climates I've explored and camped in; All of the hardships, adversities, and challenges faced; All of the unplanned and unexpected happenings; All of the new and unique experiences I've had; It has all shown me that it's as much about looking inside as it is seeing the outside. It has all helped me find something I didn't know I was looking for - Myself And this is how an adventure became a journey. Every day we wake up expecting to live. Eventually that expectation becomes a demand. Adventure = An exciting or an unusual undertaking, or an unexpected event, usually involving some sort of danger or unknown risks. Journey = Travel or passage from one place to another. An adventure is ordinarily thought of as engaging in a particular activity. It's envisioned as going to a particular place and exploring that place or engaging in a specific activity, and usually in a predetermined fashion - whether it's going to a city or country you've never been to before, to doing something that maybe you've never done before. Our ideas, expectations, and beliefs going into it, lend themselves to helping shape the adventure. I like to think of an adventure as an outward experience, but I think of a journey as more of an inward experience. It's when our inner awareness is revealed to us - when what we do on the outside leads to us looking at what is happening on the inside. It becomes a journey when we can let go of those same ideas, expectations, and beliefs - when we can let go of the idea of how we think things are supposed to be - and let life take us wherever it wants. An adventure becomes a journey when we start exploring ourselves , and that exploration leads us to discover places we didn't know we'd find - to the unknown places inside of us. Firstly, when you choose to take an adventure, no matter how big or small it is, you should not expect all of the familiar comforts of home. You should also not expect everything - much less anything - to go as you planned or expected it to go. No matter how much you try to foresee and plan accordingly for every possible scenario, things will happen on an adventure that you don't want to happen, or that you weren't ready for. While on an adventure, it is very beneficial to be okay with change because things are going to change. It is also very helpful to be able to create a feeling of stability where there sometimes just doesn't seem to be any. An adventure can test your patience, your energy, your wit, and your ability to adjust to changing situations. The really big adventures - the best adventures - will take you well outside of what you're comfortable with. But a journey will test your heart and mind - the very core of your Self. Things may happen on an adventure that you don't understand; Things that just don't make sense. You will see and/or hear things that won't fit neatly with your ideologies, expectations, and beliefs. And this is when an adventure can become a journey. But only if you want it to, and only if you let it. When does an adventure become a journey, and how do you know when an adventure has become a journey? How do you know when this passage from one place to another has taken place? When it compels you to look inside yourself and to examine those ideas, expectations, and beliefs; from those that you've always taken for granted to those that you've been hanging on to for dear life. How it begins, is when you approach everything with curiosity and don't expect the quick or easy answers. When it begins, is when you notice the ordinary moments and experiences begin to seem a little bit more extraordinary. At first, this part of the journey will teach you to improvise and be creative. It will teach you to embrace the unexpected. The longer you are on this journey - the farther you are willing to go - it will begin to reveal yet another level of introspection, providing you are willing to look. Yes, it's a journey. But it's not a journey to understand. This is what most people get wrong because they want to, or feel they need to, understand everything. It will start with questions that have answers, but they are answers which you've always given yourself every excuse to ignore and every chance to avoid. Then questions you never considered before will begin to emerge. You will question things you never questioned before. You will uncover answers to some of these questions that you didn't think were possible. Then it moves to hard questions that have no clear answers. At a certain point in the journey you come to see that the neat and tidy answers you were previously expecting or looking for are nowhere to be found and they're not even what matters any more, but the importance lies in the questions themselves. Given more time, it will test you and draw things out of you that you didn't even know were there. It will have you looking at things in ways you've never looked at them before. This part of the journey can make you immensely more vulnerable because it will challenge your assumptions. It will twist, tug, bend, push and pull, on every perspective. It may challenge every belief that you hold. It will reveal insecurities and inhibitions that you didn't know you had, that have been ignored, or that have been hidden for years just below the surface, and forgotten. It will reveal fears and weaknesses you've avoided facing, and fears and weaknesses you never knew you had. This type of journey can, and probably will, make you cry. It can make you cry because you're nervous, worried, or downright terrified, while thinking, "This is not how it's supposed to be!" OR It can make you cry tears of joy and euphoria when you triumphantly shout "I did it!!" after fighting through the doubts and fears and achieving something that you didn't know you were capable of doing. When your adventure becomes a journey, you may feel the pressure rising, But it's an internal pressure. Pressure to perform; Pressure to succeed; Pressure to achieve. This pressure is a result of all of those ideas, expectations, and beliefs - from the ones you didn't even realize you were carrying, to the ones you boast about. Your first instinct will be to overcome the situation, to conquer the situation, or to retreat to a place of comfort. But that pressure is really an opportunity in disguise. It's an opportunity to overcome adversity. It's an opportunity to elevate your experience; An opportunity to show yourself what you are capable of; An opportunity to show the world, and more importantly yourself, what you're made of. On this journey the countless layers of discomfort endured, and the myriad of doubts you overcome, will begin to expose the real you that has been hidden or buried within you all along. It will bring you face to face with things you've always tried to forget and things you never wanted to confront. Don't be afraid. While it may appear difficult, uncomfortable, scary, or unpleasant when you begin, it's a journey to the most amazing and rewarding place in the world. It's a journey to where you meet yourself. If you're not willing to pay the price, this journey can crush your hope. If you accept the full experience, this journey can renew your hope. An adventure is about being curious, stepping out into the world and experiencing what takes place outside of ourselves. It takes us out of the ordinary. A journey is about being curious , and stepping back into ourselves to experience, and learn about, what happens on the inside. A journey takes us to the extraordinary. When a peculiar event occurs, from the unexpected to the highly improbable to the impossible, it should open us up to seeing other possibilities. We can try to make this event fit into our existing beliefs, no matter how much we have to twist it and bend it and contort it to make it fit, or we can reconsider what we thought we knew. Whatever your adventure is - from a weekend getaway, to visiting another country or continent - an adventure is about exploring and, yes, it can be transformative. It can ignite something within you to keep going. It can also reveal to you your own limitations. It can put your ideas, expectations, and beliefs, to the test. But at that point... what are you going to do about them? It's not what we face, it's what we do with it and how we process it, that goes a long way in determining the outcome. So lean into the journey. Let it strip your heart and mind down to the bare bones. Let it take you to another place. Life is not a chore. Life is not a game. Life is not an endurance test. Life is not a dress rehearsal. Life certainly is an adventure, But make it a journey , as well. We always start out by expecting things to be a certain way. It all changes when we stop demanding and when we learn to expect nothing. This is not a highly sought after or glamorous journey, but this journey can begin at any time. This journey could even begin without you being aware of it. This is a journey within. It is not one to be understood because it is about exploring yourself. It's one that many people think they take, but few actually do. It's a journey that you, and you alone, can take. And it's the greatest journey worth taking. Take the journey. Pic by Grant Krasner
- Why Do We Climb Mountains?
Photo by author Why would someone spend hours or days or weeks climbing a dangerous mountain? Why would someone spend months rowing a boat across an entire ocean or riding a bike across an entire continent or hiking over 2,000 miles continuously? Yes, people do these things. But it's crazy. It's selfish. It's suicidal. It's meaningless. What's the point? It's risking your life for nothing in return. Why do some people risk everything to climb the real and the proverbial mountain? I'm sure some people do it for the recognition or the notoriety. Some people do it just to be different and to stand out. But then there are the others… About two million years ago, as we understand it right now, humans began migrating out of Africa. The first ones that dared to venture into new and uncertain terrain, the ones that crossed oceans and mountain ranges and went into uncharted territories, were surely considered by their peers to be a bit crazy. Without the yearning for exploration and risk taking and pursuing our dreams we certainly wouldn't be where we are right now. The real trail blazers push the limits of human potential and show us how to make the impossible possible. In today's society there is a desire, a need even, to escape the rat race. There is a frustration with the material world, with dead-end jobs, with the work-eat-sleep-repeat cycle that we become trapped in. We may not have uncharted lands as we once did, but there are still unexplored territories waiting to be discovered within each of us. The human need for exploration is still there. Those that do the audacious and the unthinkable, the things that make many people just shake their heads and call them crazy, are the ones who will motivate and inspire others to never stop exploring their individual, and the human, physical and mental limits. This is why I think it's important to challenge yourself and push your limits. When you feel like you can't take another step but you keep going anyway. When you feel like one wrong move or one wrong step could be disastrous. When there's no one to depend on but yourself to get you out of a situation. When you feel like quitting but you don't. These are the moments when we gain incredible focus. These are the moments that can change perspectives. These are the times when we feel most alive and when we show ourselves what our true potential can be. These are the moments when we discover who we really are. But these moments can only be realized when we challenge and push ourselves. By pushing beyond our own self-created physical and mental borders we discover our real capabilities. So here's to the dreamers and the misfits and the risk takers and the adventurers. They are the ones that show us the strength of the human will and spirit. They are the ones who expand our ideas of possibilities. They are the ones that discover who they are. Without the daring and the adventurous and the crazy ones, without the dreamers, we would never know the potential, the possibilities, or the capabilities of this human experience. This is why we climb mountains. What's your mountain? Pic by Grant Krasner
- Optimism From A Different Angle
An optimistic person, by definition, is someone who always believes in or looks for the best possible outcome. "Look on the bright side", is a common phrase uttered by an optimist. Some people believe that an optimistic person only sees unicorns and rainbows and may even be in denial that bad things happen sometimes. But the issue with this type of optimism, as well as with those that they annoy, is that the focus is always external - it's on the circumstances. But what if we're looking at optimism all wrong? What if there is another kind of optimist? Maybe there is a different way of looking for the bright side. I do believe there is another type of optimist. This type is very well aware that unpleasant things can and do happen. However, their focus is not on what is happening around them but what is happening within them. They don't blame external conditions, they know that if they don't have the ability to change a situation then they have the ability to change themselves, to adjust and adapt to be able to deal with the circumstances. They understand that it's not the circumstances that is the issue but, rather, it's how they view them. This type of optimist does not ignore the negative. This optimist knows that they have it within themselves to overcome the situation or circumstances. Life can be hard but this optimist would rather enjoy the journey than dwell on the difficulty. Maybe I'm just being optimistic, but that seems like a pretty good way to be. There is strength and empowerment when you realize that you are the bright side to your situation. Pic by Coffee And A Map
- How to Fix a Problem
Photo by author When I simplified my life and began living out of a truck it had a way of putting all the problems of life in a whole new light. When basic needs such as food and shelter became my priorities then everything else became a secondary concern, or was not a concern at all. My perspectives and expectations started to change. I began to see how I used to worry or get upset about really trivial things, even though they didn't seem so trivial at the time. Many thoughts and feelings and ideals that I thought were important, only because I gave importance to them, turned out to be not so important in the grand scheme of things. Comfort as I knew it was now a luxury. I had to learn how to find some form of comfort in whatever situation I was in. Challenges had to be faced and were a lot less difficult and, therefore, easier to overcome when they were embraced. Problems were no longer problems, but just another thing to figure out. Sometimes I got really dirty or wet or cold (and sometimes a combination of them) or experienced some other form of discomfort in the process of figuring it out. Sometimes I didn't figure it out at all and, instead, I had to figure out how to just be okay with it and work with it as best as I could. Does that mean unfortunate things don't happen anymore? Of course not. There's always going to be problems. There will always be unwanted, unpleasant, and/or undesirable circumstances and I am an extremely flawed human who still loses his sh*t. But when I can catch myself losing it, when I can slow down and take a step back, I can see that there is always an answer. There is always a way to fix a problem. And as my outlook on these problems began to shift I started to see the real cause. The quickest and easiest way to escape a problem is to solve it. To solve it means to find the cause. Rather than just trying to find a solution to the problem, perhaps we should try to figure out the cause of the problem in the first place. We can learn more and more solutions to our problems (but they keep coming back) or we can unlearn the problem, itself. What may seem like a thing to one of us may not be the same thing to another. No matter what problems - or how many - we think we have, we can always find someone who seems to have it worse but doesn't see it that way. It's a matter of perspective. How else does someone see an opportunity for growth where another just sees struggle? How else does one person see a challenge where another person only sees a problem? A thing is just a thing and the thing I realized about problems is that they are just like fears...they don't exist anywhere except in our own minds. How did I figure out how to fix a problem? If it's a situation that I can't change or control or don't like, the first thing is to try to let go of the idea that there even is a problem. Then I have to try to learn how to accept the reality of whatever situation I'm in and work with it. Once I realized that my problems were caused by my own doing or the way I looked at things, I was faced with fixing myself. We seem to always want to change something (or someone) about our environment but we never think to change ourselves. So I changed how I looked at the problem . I changed my perspective. I re-framed it and gave it a new or different meaning. When I fixed myself and outgrew the problem then that problem would die a natural death. Every. Single. Time. We can blame the world for our problems. We can blame everyone and every thing for what is going on. But life is not the problem. That person is not the problem. The circumstances are not the problem. The problem is not the problem. It's not people or things or events that upset us, it's the conversations that we have with ourselves. It's how our minds look at things, our expectations, our judgement of the situation, and our beliefs that are the problem. Our own mind is the cause of the problem. It all changes when I can stop trying to make things go the way that I expect them to, or think they should, or want them to. When I can accept things as they are and not how I want them to be, when I surrender myself, problems cease to exist. It's so simple, yet one of the most difficult things, to realize that my own expectations and beliefs , my own perspective was the cause of many problems. The good news is that it also meant that I was the solution to the problem. Problems don't stop, and they only change when we do. When we can't change a situation or our circumstances we are challenged to change ourselves, and that changes everything. Suddenly one day all of the absurdities of life began to make sense. Pic by Coffee And A Map
- Why Change Seems so Hard
Photo of author, by Coffee And A Map A lot of what I write is to share my story, but I also like to write just for myself. I'm always jotting down thoughts and ideas. Sometimes a mixture of those writings come together and take on a life of their own, such as this one. ******** There are certain situations or times when we reflect on the changes that have occurred in our life, or the changes we wish to make going forward. A lot - okay, just about everything - has changed for me over the past few years and it continues to change. While some of those changes were deliberate, others were random or unexpected. Everything Changes Change. Everything is in the process of becoming something else. We are, quite literally, not the same person that we were yesterday. Cells in our bodies die and new ones are born. Every experience we have and every decision we make alters our views, even if it's in the smallest and subtlest of ways. Every thing and every one is in a constant state of change. Making a change on a personal level can be anywhere from hard to impossible until "business-as-usual" becomes too uncomfortable or unbearable. Change isn't easy. It's challenging and difficult. But, why? Everything changes and we say that we know it, but do we? If we know it then why does change continue to be so hard to accept? Did you know the average person has thousands of thoughts per day? The National Science Foundation published an article in 2005 summarizing research on human thoughts. It said that 95% of our thoughts are the same ones that were had the day before, and the day before that, and the day before that…the same familiar thoughts lead to the same familiar choices, which leads to the same familiar actions. We are caught in routines. We repeat the same patterns, making each day just a rerun of the past. It's Personal When we try to make a change in our lives then we are suddenly thinking different thoughts. We are no longer making those same familiar choices that we have always been making. Different thoughts and different choices create different actions and, ultimately, feelings. We are suddenly outside of our comfort zone. The usual course of events has been altered and we don't know what's coming next. We find ourselves in unfamiliar and unpredictable territory and we don't like uncertainty. We got comfortable in our familiar routines, having familiar thoughts and feelings until they became ingrained in us. Staying in a familiar and predictable situation, as unpleasant as it may seem, is still familiar and we feel safer staying with what's familiar than venturing into the unknown. We may not like the situation, but at least we know what to do with it. Right or wrong, good or bad, we associate familiarity with safety and normalcy. Change can be hard because we are stepping out of our comfort zone and are faced with challenging our previously held ideas and beliefs that have served us up to this point and we don't want to let go of them, even if they no longer serve us. We're breaking the addiction to being who we believe we are. We have told ourselves a story that we are a certain way for so long that we have convinced ourselves it's an absolute truth. Face It Nothing changes for us, on an individual level, unless we do. When we can't change a situation then we are challenged to change ourselves and THAT changes everything. Change can be hard enough, but when we knowingly - or unknowingly - play games with ourselves, when we lie to ourselves, and when we are mentally dishonest with ourselves, like thinking that by simply flipping the calendar to a new year things will change, it makes everything harder. And that is the true tragedy. Personal change can be hard if we're always looking for something outside of ourselves to change something on the inside. We can't change that which we are unwilling to confront. To change ourselves we have to face ourselves. And it's hard to change when you can't see yourself. There is no remote control on life. We have to get up and change it ourselves. You can do this! Pic by Coffee And A Map
- All It Takes is One
Photo of author Sometimes all it takes is one moment to change the trajectory of everything. We like to think that if we can just do that ONE thing then ___ will happen. Maybe if we can get “this” and “that” in order then this will happen. But we only have this one life . Just one. Get to know ONE person who you aren’t real fond of. Do ONE thing that you’ve been avoiding because you’re scared as hell of doing it. Spend ONE day with no devices or other people around. Say ONE random nice thing to a total stranger. Talk to ONE person who has an opposing belief from yours and don’t argue or debate with them, but actively listen and try to understand where they are coming from. Read ONE book that challenges what you think you know. It starts by making ONE decision today that is different from every other daily decision that you make without consideration. One act can start a tsunami; a tidal wave of change. All it takes is ONE thing to completely change the direction of your life. We may never know exactly what happened, when it happened, or where it happened. We may never know where it came from. But one small act of kindness - one small seemingly insignificant thing - can change the trajectory of our existence. It could change the narrative. It could change the game. It could change everything. Who knows, it could even change all of humanity. Photo by Coffee And A Map Grand Canyon
- Thinking Out Loud
Social media seems to be a lot about anger, shame, and fear. What has brought us together (the internet) is the same thing that is separating us. We don't engage with information solely as information. It seems that it has become a type of identity marker. One side is quick to dismiss the other side based merely on what source they got their information from. Information has become tribal. ********** Labels and sides. Pick a side. Up or Down. Left or Right. Yours or Mine. Right or Wrong. Us or Them. For or Against. One side or the other. When this happens the focus becomes about the "other side's" perceived weaknesses while completely ignoring their actual strengths. Like the "me" that knows what I should put in my body and the "me" that enjoys chocolate, isn't there more than one side to all of us? To think that there are only two possible conclusions - only two sides - to think that there are only two possible reasons for anything anyone does, with all of the potential variables at work in any given situation is naive, at best. There are many who, it seems, would rather martyr themselves than acknowledge that they may be wrong about the other side, whatever that side is. There are those who would rather hang on to their anger and fears. I get it. Anger gives us an illusory sense of control. And it feels safe in thinking one is in control. Everyone wants you to believe that they are being reasonable and objective. Sorry, but I'm not seeing it. Being objective does not mean to push one's own beliefs and opinions, however subtly. Being objective means to challenge your own deeply held beliefs and values so you can see things from an angle you hadn't considered before. You can make it about the bad or you can make it about the good. You can make it about fear and panic or you can make it about calm and happiness. You can make it about worry or doubt or knowing, or you can make it about curiosity and possibilities and learning. You can make it about trying to tear down others or you can make it about self-growth. So stop looking at what you believe they are doing wrong and what you believe you are doing right. Stop looking at everyone else and start looking within yourself. After all...what if you're wrong? It's your choice. It always was. It's not about us vs. them. It never was. It's about you vs. yourself. Challenge your OWN thoughts and beliefs. Or are they that fragile? Pic by Coffee And A Map
- Plato's Cave in a State-of-the-Art Society
Photo by author You've no doubt heard of the Greek philosopher, Plato. You may have even heard of his writing, 'The Allegory of the Cave', also known as Plato's Cave. If you are not familiar with it, you can read it here . In short, it's a written dialogue between Plato's brother and another well known ancient Greek philosopher named Socrates. The Rundown As the analogy goes, there is a small group of people who have lived their entire lives chained to the wall of an underground cave. They have been chained in such a way that they can't turn their heads, so they can only look at the cave wall that's in front of them. This wall that they are chained to is, let's say about 6 feet high, and further behind this wall there is a fire burning. Other people walk behind this wall between the fire and the captives carrying vessels, statues, and assorted figures of animals made of wood, stone, and other materials. The fire casts a reflection of these objects, like shadow puppets, onto the wall in front of those who are chained. The chained ones, having only ever known what they can see before them, believe that what they see is real, and even give names to the shadows. The world that they see before them is the only world they know, so the shadows are their reality. Those who are chained would have contests and try to predict which figures would appear on the cave wall in front of them, and in what order. If someone was to guess correctly they would be congratulated and praised, no doubt for their perceived intellect, by the others. (Sound familiar?) Then at some point one of the captive ones reluctantly gets dragged from the cave. The sunlight is blinding to them. At first they can only see reflections of things due to the brightness of the sun. They eventually adjust to the light and everything is seen with more definition and more clarity; their new surroundings; their new world; their new reality. When they finally return to the cave to tell the other captives about what they've seen and what they've learned, their eyes are trying to readjust to the darkness of the cave and so they are having trouble seeing. The remaining captives surmise that this impaired vision is a result of leaving the cave and they don't want the same issues to come to them, so they choose to stay in the cave. They remain adamant about not leaving the cave and may even go so far as to threaten to harm anyone who tries to remove them from the cave. They have concluded, based on what they see and know, that the cave is safe and the outside world is unsafe. Those who are chained in the cave do not know of, much less believe in, other possibilities. I imagine it would be safe to say that they also aren't used to anyone challenging them or pushing back against their beliefs. From our capacity to reason, to human perception, to corrupt politics or cultures, the symbolism in the allegory of Plato's Cave has been interpreted a multitude of ways over the centuries. What makes this writing such a timeless thought experiment? Anyone, no matter what their occupation is and no matter where they are in life, can read this story and have an interpretation of it. What's more is we could read this story today and derive a particular meaning from it, and we could read this again in a few years and interpret it in an altogether different way. I looked in on this story the other day and while there is some more to the complete story, I wanted to focus on this part in particular because it struck me in a way I had not considered before. Let's go spelunking, shall we? The Situation Prior to Betty and I making our first visit to the mountains of Colorado we did a whole lot of research. We had never encountered moose, bear, mountain lions, or high altitude conditions before and we wanted to know (as best we could) what to expect and what to do in the event of an encounter with one of these animals. Being at a higher altitude can create its own set of problems, as well. It should be noted that we spend a lot of time in the back country, or remote areas, and we sleep in a tent when we do. That was also the plan for this trip. Since we were going to be in an entirely different environment than what we have ever experienced, with an entirely different set of potential issues, we wanted to prepare ourselves. We spent a lot of time researching a variety of situations that could possibly occur because we wanted to know what to look for; what to avoid; what to do and not do; in order to have a safe, but fun, adventure . I suppose we could have just believed those extreme wildlife horror stories that make their way into the news, or got our information from the first source that we found that had philosophies and principles which aligned with what we thought we already knew. But, no. We went into it as if we knew absolutely nothing. We dug deep to find tips and advice and knowledge from actual experts who have studied and had real world experiences with whatever we were looking into. Interestingly enough, the majority of what we learned from all of that research has been used effectively in our own real life experiences at one time or another. When we first got into backpacking it was the same thing. It was as if we surfaced from a cave and discovered a different world. Hours and hours of research went into clothing, gear, and everything related to being in the wilderness with only what we carry on our back. Getting expert knowledge and advice from those who were experienced was very beneficial to begin with, but it wasn't until we gained more and more experience of our own that we were able to understand the importance of having good equipment and how to best use it according to the situation and our own preferences. There were items that were supposedly "must-haves" that we discovered we could do without, and we found multiple uses for other items that were not widely recommended. The Cave Wall Did you know… Your chances of being struck by lightning are far greater than your chances of being attacked by a shark. Yet we are terrified of sharks, while we give little thought to lightning. You are more likely to be killed by a bee or even another human than by a bear. But most of us would probably be gripped by fear or high anxiety upon encountering a bear in the wild, and we most likely wouldn't give a bee or another human a second thought. More people succumb to hypothermia in the summer months than in the winter months. We'll bundle up to the point that we look or feel like the Michelin Man before we go outside for any length of time in the winter but we give much less thought to what we wear in the summer. Many people base their reality - what they believe to be true - on what they see on TV, the movies, YouTube, or whatever they see on social media; second-hand information and/or half truths that they hear from others. Their perception of reality is based on sensationalized media stories, staged and saturated photographs, reels, and fictional films; a lot of second-hand, exaggerated, or unconfirmed information. A good amount of it is inaccurate or flat out false information. Like the reflections on a cave wall. The internet (in general) and social media (in particular) has over saturated us with information and "universal truths". We'll seek and search online for those tidbits of information and these nuggets of truth. We can find any and all types of information on the internet. If we look long enough we can probably find advice, data, reports, or any other kind of info that is presented in a way that validates what we already take to be true. Just because something resonates with us, and just because we can read it or see it on a screen, does not make it a truth. But rather than being curious and digging deeper, it's easier to believe that we already do understand and we do know the "how's" and the "why's" and the "what's" based on what we heard from others. Our reasoning for our beliefs could even seem flawless, but if our founding premise or our initial hypothesis is wrong, it doesn't matter. It's all wrong. Once we begin with a shadow that we believe is the real thing, and then we continue to develop our own truths and our own stories based on indirect information to fill in the gaps, this draws us deeper and deeper into the cave. It is not at all uncommon these days to find someone who has read a few articles or watched a few videos on a topic - as misleading as they may be - and from these articles or videos they will develop very strong opinions. Then, with little to no actual experience in the matter, they will argue with someone who has actual training or experience with whatever the subject matter is. I wrote about this from another angle in an article entitled A Theory Concerning Experts, which can be seen here . On a near daily basis there are new and various narratives popping up about one thing or another. Many of these narratives develop a life of their own because people don't even bother to question them or investigate them in any way. They don't even seem to want to question them. They just believe them. And before you know it, these narratives become widespread beliefs. Could it be that what we're really doing is just looking for the things that align with what we think we already know and the beliefs that we already hold? Do we believe that the only reality is the shadows that appear in front of us? (What about now? Does it sound familiar now?) Like the shadow puppets on the cave wall, we can learn the wrong things by reading and watching the wrong things, and believing them to be legitimate truths. We only know about different methods, means, and experiences as they come to us filtered through layers of previously obtained information (sometimes inaccurate, partial, or misleading information) followed by more layers of our preconceived notions. Sometimes we are so convinced that we know the truth, that if another truth was standing before us we wouldn't even see it or, maybe worse, we'd be convinced that it's a lie. But we'll just keep scrolling and looking for a relatable meme to cast a reflection on our wall; a reflection of what we think we are, what we want to be, or what we want others to believe we are. Continually creating our own customized cave of information. The Shadows We've all been told a great number of untruths over the years - some were intentional, but many were inadvertent - and sometimes we believed them. Some of these untruths may have ended up becoming "facts" in our viewpoints and belief systems. These untruths (or deceptions, inaccuracies, misinformation, falsehoods, fabrications, misrepresentations, tales...whatever you want to call them) hurt us. They hurt every aspect of our lives. We may even choose to remain blind to an otherwise strong or significant truth simply because the untruth makes us feel better. It makes us feel better because it makes us feel like we are "right". We've had years, possibly even decades, of thinking and believing a certain way. Eventually something or someone pushes back or challenges these untruths which, by now, have become our beliefs. So when something different or unfamiliar comes around, all of those years of repetitive thinking would have us not take the "different" seriously, and not believe it. When we experience something we haven't learned - which is really nothing more than experiencing something different - we often times don't know how to accept it or deal with it. When we don't know how to accept or deal with something we will typically hang on to what already makes sense to us, and we'll reject anything that makes us question our own view of the truth. (It's the cave!) Letting go of life long patterns and world views, conclusions we have come to, habits, behaviors, and beliefs that may have worked for us at one time - dismantling habits and beliefs that we have spent our whole lives building - is not for the timid or faint of heart. It is not practicing "business as usual". Wanting or needing to let go of any of these things is admitting to ourselves that something needs to change , while in reality the clues have most likely been multiplying for years. This is the point when we begin to emerge from the cave. Like the captives in Plato's cave, sometimes we get glimpses of a truth but we choose to ignore it and continue on in the world we created in our minds. I mean, it's always easier to re-frame one small and seemingly insignificant aspect of life than to re-frame the complex and unedited whole of our existence. There is less cognitive dissonance this way. Knowing feels comfortable and "facts" feel safe. Not being able to explain something feels uncomfortable. But what happens when you have a feeling or an experience that you can't rationalize or explain? Everything is always fluctuating and changing. Because of this, we have to challenge ourselves, have different experiences, see new horizons, meet new and different people, be exposed to different ways of thinking, and see new things. Instead, we attempt to intellectualize everything without ever experiencing it. Maybe we're not so concerned with truth as we'd like to believe. Maybe we're more concerned with thinking that we are right. Or maybe we want to cast a shadow on someone else's wall to give the impression that we know what we are doing. Even when everything around us is trying to change our story, we prefer to remain chained to the ones we're familiar with - the ones that make us feel comfortable. But the truth is, we can't know life just by statements or just from what we read and watch. Emerging From the Cave You can read everything that's ever been written and watch every video that's ever been made about a subject. You can read everything there is to know about Istanbul, Turkey, for example. But until you go there and actually experience it, it's still nothing more than a story you've created from the information that you consumed about it - it's still just a name on a map. You can read everything that's ever been written, and watch every video you can find, about hitting a 95 mph fastball from a Major League pitcher. How much good does it really do when you are standing in the batter's box and watching that ball come at you in real time? Here's another example; Imagine you're in the market for a new vehicle. You've spent hours comparing safety features and gas mileage and all of the bells and whistles that you're looking for in a new vehicle. Finally you come to a conclusion on a vehicle that has met all of the qualifications - all of your wants and needs - so you go to the dealership excited to check it out and to give it a drive. While you're driving it you realize that something about it is uncomfortable to you. It just doesn't feel right. The experience of driving the vehicle you thought you wanted changed how you felt about it. One final example; You've visited a picturesque and quaint little village in the mountains a few times during the summer season and you have fallen in love with it. You ultimately end up deciding you want to live there. Once you've moved there you discover the pivotal role that nature plays in dictating how, why, and when certain things are done; there is a lot of planning and commuting to get many things accomplished; you feel way more isolated than you expected for much of the year; and you aren't liking this at all. You may think you know all about me from reading my posts. You may think you know someone else based on what they post on their social media. But until you spend time talking with (not at ) someone, asking questions and listening to them, you can't truly know them. Experiencing something can give an entirely different response or reaction because you can have knowledge of something and you can understand it rationally, but to experience it can cause you to feel something very different emotionally - which can change everything. If you haven't experienced it, you are only speculating or seeing it through someone else's eyes. Until you experience it and feel it, you'll never fully know about that subject - or person. Reading, watching, or even thinking about something, and then experiencing it in all of its fullness are usually two very different things. You can consume all the information you can get your hands on, but what happens when you're there in the thick of it? Simply put, we can't truly understand what we haven't experienced. It is our experiences that alter and change our perspectives more than anything else. Knowledge is good. Knowledge is even important. And the internet is full of knowledge and valuable information. It's also full of a lot of false and misleading information. How can we tell the difference? Experiences matter. Without actual life experiences, knowledge is not enough. All of that schooling or training may have helped to a certain degree, but it all changed as soon as you were confronted with the real thing, didn't it? Without real world experiences, knowledge is still just theories, ideas, opinions, and what someone else has said. Knowledge is good, but it's experiences that give us understanding. So if we don't experience different, we won't understand different. We can sit and look at the world through a screen and think we've got it all figured out. Or we can be curious, ask questions, embrace the unfamiliar, and step into the unknown. I don't recall ever reading about it anywhere in any of the research I did before our first trip to the mountains of Colorado, but did you know that the sun feels very different up in the mountains then it does at lower elevations? See, if you have experienced this, then you have felt it, you understand it, and you can explain it. What if we gave the same devotion to understanding ourselves as we gave to our jobs or our families? What if we evaluated ourselves with the same conviction, passion, and intensity that we evaluated everybody and everything else with? We spend a lot of time in our caves trying to escape reality when we should be spending more time trying to work with it. We do this by experiencing it, which can make it feel different. And this can give us a different understanding of it. To have different or unfamiliar experiences, and to learn from those experiences, shines a light into the mental cave. We are all like the captives in Plato's cave, to one degree or another. And many people, it seems, only want reality when it's comfortable or convenient for them. So we stay in our safe little worlds - our caves - where we feel comfortable and where nobody pushes back or challenges us; where we can just keep scrolling and looking for that meme or that article or video that we can relate to - that shadow on the cave wall that we have made into our reality. Pic - Grant Krasner
- Learning How To Live
Photo by author Just showing up for work every day does not make you better at your job. Doing the same workout all the time does not make you faster or stronger. Simply waking up every day does not make you a better or wiser person. You have to put in the time and effort to become better at something…better at anything. Doing the same thing every day does not make you better at living, yet this is what we do. Don't settle. Change things up. Try new and different things. Challenge yourself. Push yourself. Seek. Question . Explore. Do. Learn . Keep learning. Challenge yourself and your limits. Do things that make you question and rethink yourself. Make tough choices; The ones that make you uncomfortable; The ones that make you doubt yourself; The choices that lead you into the unknown; The choices that make you nervous and make your heart beat faster. Life doesn't want to merely survive. Life wants to thrive and prosper. When we talk of thriving and prospering many will think of having things and of finances. But this is not what it means to thrive and prosper. It means to know and to feel all of life. Feel it. This is when amazing things happen. This is when you thrive and prosper. This is where Life is. Every teacher was once a student. Every winner was once a loser. Every expert was once a beginner. But all of them crossed the bridge called Learning. As long as you're alive keep learning how to live. Pic by Grant Krasner A walk above treeline
- In A Black and White World
Photo by Author Question: Do you only listen to people that you agree with or can you listen to people for no reason other than you find that the way they think is different or interesting? Let's suppose that you come across a person on social media that seems knowledgeable on a particular topic that you have an interest in. You like what this person has to say so you start to follow them. You read almost every post and you really enjoy all of their content for a few weeks; a few months; maybe even longer. One day they post something that you just can't agree with - something that doesn't align neatly with what you believe - so you unfollow them. Just like that. This is a scenario that actually happens all the time on social media. It's happened to me, too. In October of 2022 an international yoga teacher revealed to her massive online following that she was eating meat and was no longer a vegan. She explained how her decision was health related and she received support in her choice. She also received a great deal of blowback and a lot of people unfollowed her. A few years ago a psychologist who is very popular online announced their sexual orientation to their audience. It rubbed a whole lot of the psychlogist's followers the wrong way. Just like the yoga teacher, the psychologist received some support, but also lost a huge number of followers. With one single post, people who agreed with everything that they had previously said were suddenly against these two people and unfollowing them. There are many more, but these are just two examples of people who had an online presence with some people following them for a long time, and even after all of that, it only took one single post to have a lot of people click the unfollow button. But this, as you might imagine, has nothing to do with yoga or psychology. This has nothing to do with vegans or meat eaters. This isn't about anyone's sexual preference, either. For or Against. And the Problem Starts… I used to scroll through certain discussion threads (more like argument threads) on the internet because I would invariably come across a point of view that I had not considered before. But I still felt exhausted, and sometimes frustrated, from all of the strife and tension that was on display in these threads after I left them. Then one day it hit me… No matter where people may stand on an issue, both sides of that issue are claiming they are the sole proprietors of the truth. Everyone is arguing over whose beliefs are right and whose are wrong. Everyone is claiming that their beliefs are the only accurate or correct ones and to disagree with them is to be wrong. Period. Is it just me, or does that sound an awful lot like tyranny ? As long as we are in complete agreement with someone, they are great. As soon as they say or do something that we don't completely agree with, in the blink of an eye they can become the enemy. Someone we once liked and listened to is no longer liked (or listened to), and the only reason is that they did something or they believe something that we don't completely agree with. When we do ask them questions, it's only so we can disagree and argue with the answers that we get. Has anyone in any place and at any time ever won an internet argument? I can answer that. No. But rest assured, both sides of the debate will believe that they dropped some nugget of wisdom, some life changing information, or irrefutable facts on the other side, and that they "won". Black and White If I look at something different than you - if I believe something different than you - does that make one of us wrong and one of us right…or is it just different? What about that thing called "subjective"? You have thoughts that I'll probably never think, just as I have thoughts that you'll probably never think. Many of us were raised in a world in which we were taught that, in effect, everything is black and white. Consequently, we end up feeling that we need to be right about everything because, of course, in a black and white world if we aren't right, then we are wrong. In a black and white world everything is either perfect or it's imperfect. In this binary world, those are your only choices. We believe that we must have an answer to everything and we need to be right about all of it, also. When we're taught to view things as black or white - as either completely wrong or completely right - it makes it very difficult to see any of the other colors of the spectrum. It's already very difficult to do, but this makes it all but impossible to look at anything without the biases of our own beliefs . We'll cling to fixed or rigid explanations of things when we don't know what's going on or we're afraid/unsure of it because we have to try to make everything fit into the black or into the white; into our already existing belief system. Black and white thinking leads to the belief that we have to be perfect. It's been drilled into many of us from the beginning. If we think we need to be perfect (or already are perfect) then having to make a change in our lives, or admit we are wrong, would be the same as admitting that we aren't perfect. As a result, anything that goes against our perceived truths - whether it's personal, political, physical, spiritual, societal, or otherwise - is seen as intimidating, threatening, or just wrong. We need to believe that the world is a certain way and so we'll deliberately attack - or ignore - anything that threatens our beliefs concerning how things are. We need to be right about everything, up to and including our own shortcomings and limitations. We'll even go so far as to unwittingly sabotage our own lives just to prove that we are right. We end up holding onto ideals or beliefs that simply aren't true, which in turn can lead to feelings of failure. And this is nothing but a breeding ground for anxiety and depression. But compassion, empathy, and humility (which is demonstrated by asking questions and listening) - all of the characteristics we need in order to feel what someone else is feeling and to understand where they are coming from - can not be reduced to black and white absolutes. They are only cultivated when we can look at our own faults. The funny thing is, if we feel that we need to be perfect then we will always be judging ourselves as imperfect. Not only are we judging whether everyone else is right or wrong, we are judging our own imperfections. Is it any wonder so many people are filled with fear and anxiety? The Blame Game I suppose we could blame the internet , itself, for these problems but this would seem to exclude ourselves from any personal responsibility. The internet and social media did not create something new in humanity, it only provided a new outlet for something that was already within us. The world wide web is only a tool and it is just pointing it's finger right back at us, but we're too wrapped up in our need to be perfect, and in our own anger and self-righteousness, to see it. This internet has actually brought us all closer together but we can't see the forest for the trees. Again, the internet isn't to blame but it appears to have given us a place where we can pretend we're perfect. Additionally, it seems to have altered our perception of what perfect is. Quite frankly, I think it's modified our perception of everything. There once was a time when we had friends from every socioeconomic background and we were able to keep company with all different types of people. And now? Now, anyone who doesn't believe as we do or do the same things that we do, is considered a threat in many cases. The internet was designed as a tool to help empower humanity. As with any tool, how we use it determines what we get out of it. We can use the tool to fill in holes in our reasoning or we can use it to expose holes in our reasoning. We can use the tool to feel morally superior or we can use it to try and understand other ideologies or points of view. I'm not saying your own personal beliefs are bad or wrong, but if they interfere with your ability to listen and to communicate with another - regardless of what they believe - then your ideology may have some shortcomings or weaknesses to look into. Everything is "toxic" anymore. Everything is toxic because we have become less tolerant of individual differences. We don't discuss. We don't ask questions. We just fight about who is right and who is wrong. We're anxious because we don't understand our neighbors. We don't even understand ourselves. And whose fault is that? We don't know someone else's experiences and we certainly can't know their lives, no matter how much we like to believe that we do - but rather than listening, we go straight to arguing about how they're wrong. Either it is or it isn't - but what if it's something else entirely? What if there is no right or wrong - only understanding? If you are so sure of your own beliefs then why can't you entertain another person's beliefs? Are your beliefs that fragile? Nobody believes everything exactly the same as you do. Not your spouse or closest friend or even your family members. Nobody. So why do I have to believe exactly as you do to enjoy the pleasure of your company? Photo - Coffee And A Map
- A Campfire Soliloquy
Photo by author The campfire. No preservatives. No additives. Just an all natural warmth that permeates the whole body. Stories, heroic exploits, scary tales, warmth, memories, and camaraderie have been shared around a campfire since time immemorial. Great peace and serenity have been found while gazing into a campfire. Many great ideas have been conceived and life altering plans have been made around a campfire. Other than the night sky, fire was the only source of light in the dark. Religious and spiritual ceremonies were performed with fire holding some form of meaning. Thanks has been given for the trees that were once a living thing, but became a source of light and heat. Maybe at times those glowing embers evoked curiosity and inspiration. We will never know, but I like to think that in times past, those same flames inspired thoughts of a new or different way. Whatever it was, fire wasn't something to only stare into mindlessly. At the very least, fire was a source of life that, without, none of us would probably be here. As I sat gazing into my campfire, watching the flames dance and the embers glow, I began to wonder... Electricity, as far as the history of humankind goes, is a very new invention. We are accustomed to it now because it is what we know and what we are comfortable with. Today many people just gaze into a fire and become hypnotized by the dance of the flames. But campfires haven't always been used just to keep the bugs away, or for warmth on a cold night. While our technology has advanced, our biology has not changed. We are still the same people who gathered around a campfire to contemplate and to strategize and to socialize with our tribes. But within a matter of a few generations our technology, along with our comforts, increased dramatically and we took that which was permeating and in the fire we forged something disparate and void. New and different ideas rarely burned long enough to see the light of day as they were extinguished by the skeptics and the stubborn. In many instances strategizing had become just a flicker and was likely to be replaced by hyperbole, pretentiousness, and knee-jerk reactions. Camaraderie had been melted away by distrust, enmity, and hostility. Ceremony was left withered by discord and impoliteness. Peace and serenity were consumed by noise and anxiety. Heroic exploits were scorched and blackened by fear and indecision. Curiosity was reduced to ashes by pessimism, disinterest, and the unconcerned. Inspiration and encouragement were incinerated by excuses, denial, and the unimportant. The campfire is still here, in a sense, but today that fire is the digital glow from our screens. In this new fire everything dissolved into individualism and left us feeling more divided, detached, isolated and alone, than ever. Rather than gaze into this fire to contemplate life, we gaze into this fire to escape life or to validate ourselves. Rather than being hypnotized by the dancing flames and having it take us into a deeper state of reflection and contemplation, we are just hypnotized by the images and words that dance in this fire. We can spend hours staring mindlessly into these glowing embers just to pass the time. We are all the keepers of our own campfire. What fuel are you using to feed it? How do you use your campfire? Stoke your fire! Pic by - Coffee And A Map




















